An Open Letter To Survivors Of Narcissistic Abuse

Dear Narcissistic Abuse Survivors:

Welcome to Phoenix Counseling and Treatment Center. You have come to the right place to gain understanding and heal from what you have been through. I applaud you for having the courage to seek help for dealing with one of the most insidious and damaging relationships a person can have.

While people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are everywhere, few of us recognize the pain, damage, and loss associated with having an intimate relationship with a person who has this disorder. All narcissists have traits in common. They lack genuine empathy, are self-absorbed, grandiose, and have a sense of entitlement. But knowing the traits of a narcissist falls completely short of the lived experience of a relationship with them.

Living with a narcissist can devastate your life. Whether you end the relationship or they discard you, narcissists leave their targets emotionally shattered, physically depleted and/or sick, and financially wrecked. They have a penchant for alienating your friends and family against you, making you look like the bad guy or the unstable one. They gaslight you, control you, stonewall you to keep you from getting what you want in life, project their evil intentions and feelings onto you, and are completely incapable of insight and change.

Make no mistake, the treatment you receive from a narcissist is domestic violence, even if they never hit you or cursed you. The cycle of abuse with a covert narcissist is the same. In fact, many covert narcissists never hit their wives and some don’t even curse them. They use the weapons of psychological warfare, stealth tactics, and covert behaviors such as gaslighting, lying, and manipulation. They constantly cross your boundaries, purposely keep you on edge and anxious. Their behaviors are calculated to make you question your ability to think for yourself and make decisions independently. Their aim is to make you feel insecure and dependent on them to such an extent that you won’t leave even when they repeatedly hurt you.

As a survivor of covert narcissistic abuse, I am uniquely positioned to help you understand and heal from this type of abuse. As a sexual assault counselor in a domestic violence shelter, I counseled hundreds of abused women and have received extensive post-graduate education in the fields of trauma, domestic violence and sexual assault. I understand how hard it is to come to terms with and leave someone you love because their abusive behavior is no longer tolerable. As a Certified Trauma Treatment Specialist I am able to help victims of narcissistic abuse, take back control of their lives, heal their hearts, and move forward with their lives.

So take your power back. You deserve to be happy, satisfied, and to live free of pain and chaos. And I would be honored to walk with you on your journey as you reclaim your true self.

Mae Kent, MSW, LCSW
Certified Trauma Treatment Specialist  

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